Back to the basics.
What does back to the basics mean when it comes to your sexuality, your sexual health, and wellness? When did your sexual journey begin? What are your personal thoughts about the act of, the feeling of and the experience of?
Sex is different for everyone; what it means and how it feels. For me, as a young girl, it was something so mysterious and naughty. But I was so curious about every aspect of it. I remember my dad had the Playboy channel when I was 10 or 11. I would sneak downstairs and watch it. The women were all so beautiful and the men were so manly! Growing up I was taught, well really nothing about it. My mother bought an illustrated kid’s book to have the birds and the bees talk with me. I was mortified! And that was pretty much the last time we spoke about sex until I was an adult.
I was fairly young, even by today’s standards, when I had sex for the first time. He was my best friend, and I was in love with this boy! We were both 14 and thought we knew it all. After it happened, I remember being so excited and feeling so grown up. I couldn’t wait to tell my girlfriends. But shortly after we moved across the country literally. I didn’t have sex again for a few years. I thought about it and would masturbate often thinking why it didn’t feel like this before. This feels really good and I really like it.
In my later teenage years, the sex was humdrum at best. I was doing it because I thought I had to, I wanted the guys to like me and I was hoping to find a guy that could actually make me orgasm. Didn’t happen. I got married at 19 to a 33-year-old man and got pregnant on my honeymoon. Yes, he finally made me orgasm but only with oral sex. Which is still one of my favorite things in the world…..ever! We had lots of sex, used toys, and explored many things together. Still, I was missing something, I just didn’t know what that was.
In my second marriage, the sex got way better! I knew myself more, knew what I liked and what I didn’t and that is key to understanding sexuality. What makes us as individuals tick? What makes us happy and feel good? What do I like, what do I want? All questions we need to answer for ourselves before we can be a positive attribute in another person’s life.
This was the beginning of my sexual journey, my self-exploration and back to my basics. My story continues and gets so much better as you will read in later blogs.
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